?? I was vaguely a life model ??

I vaguely modelled for Dr. Sketchys Leeds! (last minute model cancellation, I offered by help cause I'm friends with the people who run it). It was certainly an experience. I don't think I was a very good model cause I barely sit still but practice makes perfect? Anyway that's not the point. The point is I put myself on display, I chose how to present myself - outfit, makeup etc, I was there to be looked at. It was a little surreal, I was there being drawn and I wanted to be looked at because I was there to be looked at? (Usually I'm not so for people looking at me even though I dress in a way that suggests it), but there was also sense of paranoia of 'what if I'm not look-at-able enough for this?', some connotations of gaze theory and women being judged by their 'to be looked-at-ness'. I dressed the way I did because I thought it would be interesting to draw the textures, have I turned myself into an object of someone elses visual pleasure? Perhaps but I freely chose to put myself there on the sofa, in my weird outfit and be drawn. It's a different kind of feeling than being straight up objectified.

Here's a drawing someone did and let me keep because I liked it.